Off the radar

Wow!  What a year this has been.  I did shorter races, coached an athlete through an Ironman, we sold our house, moved, I relocated my massage business and gone through some business growing pains.  It has been, needless to say, a very active year and one of personal growth.  Things are starting to settle down now, but I won't make any promises to catch my blog up like I've promised in the past.  Not that I think my life is just so interesting, but logging it definitely helps me review where I've been and what I've done.  The memory's not so good anymore, never really was all that great anyway.  I'm just simply going to state that I hope that I can resume my blog sometime in the near future.  I mean, we learn things every single day.  Some of them are great lessons and some of them are just, "Oh what a small world" six degrees of separation things.  Nonetheless, someone out there can always benefit from your lessons.  So here I am again...maybe someone will get something out of what I have to report and maybe not.  I'm going to give it a valiant effort, though.

What a week!

What a whirlwind January is turning out to be! In one sense I love it and in another I would like to hit pause to catch my breath. I'm really having to sit down and prioritize things now. I'm always very flattered when people ask me to help them. I've often told myself that when I stop feeling that way, I need to find another line of work. I hope I don't ever need to do that. I doubt I ever will.

I've also had some sort of breakthrough in my own training. I think I've finally made it over the well known 'holiday hump'. I'm feeling good and like I have more energy. Things are coming together and fitting properly. I know the bad workouts really are more of a lesson, but the good ones sure do feel great! This weekend was particularly good. I intended to do a seven to eight mile trail run on Saturday morning and it turned into an almost 11 miler. Sunday morning had another great eight miler around Two Rivers Park. I feel great today and not like I ran 19 miles in the last two days. I feel like I'm coming out of a fog. Those of you who have ever spent a year with just dealing with injury and no energy know exactly what I'm talking about.

Needless to say, 2012 is going to be the year of coming out of the darkness. I'm working on speed and just having fun this year. Who knows what events I might do! Maybe even some strictly swimming events... Nah! That's just crazy talk!

And we're off...

Okay, so the year has gotten off to a pretty good start and I'm getting into a more manageable groove. Things are starting to fall into place, which feels good after the holidays. Not that they were bad, just...just...well, you know...THE HOLIDAYS!

We're wiping the slate clean though and we all get another chance to be better (or what we think would be better) people. I'm here to tell you that I, for one, am definitely out for self improvement. I've been reading about all kinds of things that will help me create a better me. The Bionic woman comes to mind. The amount of information out there is quite overwhelming. When all that information gets crammed into my 'inbox' I'm likely to just either go take a nap to not think about having to read it all (you know there could be some life changing information in there) or just do a mass delete. It definitely has a cycle. It goes something like this: 30 days of napping. One day of a good cry from letting it get so bad, some foul language then followed by mass delete. Repeat.

Actually the number of consecutive days of napping can be anywhere from 30 to 90 days. Who has time for all of this...and spend time with family and friends...and play with pets...and train...and etc... I certainly don't. I kind of like it, though. It makes me feel important and productive. Maybe one day life will slow down enough for me to quit chasing my tail....... Hopefully not anytime soon though. I have a pretty cute tail!

The party's almost over...

It's that time again. 2011 is coming to a close and I don't mind that at all! We've accomplished a lot, but it was not without struggle. No, no. I'll try to stay positive here. Learning opportunities. Lots of learning opportunities and knowledge was gained from those opportunities. Some of that knowledge still hangs in the air with it's purpose yet to be revealed. That will come in time. Patience has been in short supply and every once in awhile a cry of despair from losing patience. Sometimes it was more like a primal scream!

My business opened in July of this year and it is thriving! There are so many positives to owning a business, but you have to be very careful not to let IT own YOU. Sometimes it's so hard to say no. I have learned my limitations the hard way. In fact, I'm still learning. It's usually not until I wake up on a Monday morning and see that I have 8 or 9 clients every day that week with a couple of days that I'm working until 7:00 pm. I usually smack myself in the forehead and promise to not do that again. At least for a month. Then I have to run my cycle. Know thyself and be okay with who and where you are. All we can do is our best and move on.

I try to plan out the next year, but I can't see past the present moment anymore. Someone asked me, "So what do you see for Forever In Training in 2012?". I didn't really know how to answer. I haven't really thought about it. Oh, I have some things that I would like to accomplish. Just trying to figure out the path to take to get there is the hard part and I can't separate the two. I feel paralyzed by those kinds of questions. Almost like a fear comes over me and I ask myself, "What if I never get this figured out? Will I look like a fake? Am I a fake?". I sure hope not. You just have to never be afraid to say the phrase, "I don't know". We are human and there is no possible way of knowing all there is to know about what you do in your life. I guess if I got it figured out I would get bored and go learn something else.

So here I am, unprepared for 2012 and it's okay. I'm just going to try and enjoy my life a little more in the upcoming year and be a kinder more giving person. I hear that heals a wounded heart. I think we could all use a little healing...

Forty and Fabulous!

I turned 40 recently and I am having the absolute best time. No really, I mean it. All these women that I know who are either going through or have gone through the forth decade of their lives have told me it is or was the best time in their lives. You are at the point where you know who you are, what you want and where you're going and you don't give a shit if anyone likes it or not. I've just begun this incredible journey and it has been pretty amazing so far. I've gotten over trying to be something that feels unnatural to me. If it doesn't feel right or good, I'm not doing it. So I've decided not to pay my taxes anymore! Just kidding. Seriously, I feel a strength and a self assuredness I've never known before. I also don't feel it necessary to be a sounding board for people with negative energy anymore. In the past I felt like they needed me. I was doing my part for the greater good. All they were doing was sucking my energy and leaving me depleted. No more!!! This doesn't mean that I'm not going to be a good listener and give people a safe place to vent. We all need that. I'm just not going to give up my precious energy anymore. They can't have it, dammit!!! I'm trying to be more aware and open to what the universe sends my way. I'm paying more attention when someone comes to mind. I call, text or email them. I figure that they popped in there for some reason; even if it's just to say, "Yo...'sup?". It's nice when someone just calls you out of the blue or sends you a note to say they were thinking of you. I called my sister on the way home from dinner last night just to tell her I miss her. Very out of character for me. I'm trying to also rekindle my sense of humor and laugh more. I sort of lost my sense of humor somewhere along the way this year. Too much working and training, not enough life. I was trying to hard to be an interesting person. Now I just want to be grounded and real. Just me, only better. When it's my time to 'renew' (a reference from Logan's Run) I want only to leave my echo of laughter behind and for people to say, "I'm really going to miss her" and smile when they think of me. No, I don't plan on dying anytime soon, but I'm going to get a headstart on enjoying life a lot more and leaving my positive footprint on this Earth.

Everybody needs a little time away...

I heard her say...from somebuuuuuhdaaaaay. That sappy Chicago song is so very true. Everyone needs a break...from...well...whatever. It's easy to get burned out, even on the things you love. My clients need an occasional break from me and my workouts. Even if they don't know it. Even though I encourage them to just take a little time away, most of the time they get forced into a break. They have to go out of town for work or they must clean out a relative's house. No matter how it happens or what they are faced with doing on that "sabbatical" they come back to me in a different state. It's good to see them with a smile on their faces and ready to get back to it.

I need my breaks too. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do for a living! Absolutely adore all of it! I mean how much better can life get when people pay you for what you are so very passionate about? I genuinely care about the welfare of my clients. Dare I say that most of us are what you might call friends? It's a beautiful thing and a lot of good things happen with the work we do together. I put a lot of thought into each and every person's program or massage. That's exactly why I feel like I need to just step away and breathe in my own needs. We must take care of ourselves. Our culture is really screwed up in the fact that we view 'self care' as 'self-ish'. WTH? How is taking care of ourselves being selfish? In most cases my clients understand. Although, sometimes I get the evil eye and that's okay. I've gotten much better about not starting such an announcement with, "I'm sorry, but...". Feeling the need to apologize for everything is fading off in the distance. In fact, a client/friend of mine sent an email to me of a saying. It was:

Apologizing

Does not always

mean that you're

wrong and the other

person is right.

It just means that you

value your relationship more

than your ego

I now use it most of the time to soften a "NO" answer. It seems so harsh to look at someone and just say "NO". I am a work in progress, though. Most everyone is; there is always the opportunity to learn something. Most of us glaze through our days. We are so consumed with going to the grocery store, putting gas in our vehicles, oh...shoot I can't forget to (fill in the blank) that we don't pick up on things that we should. We are too busy texting while driving to look up in time to see the big sign we just missed. Don't worry the universe will take control of your car, run that red light and get you a ticket (or worse...) to get your attention. Something's gotta give and I keep seeing glimmers of hope that may restore my faith in mankind. Maybe one day they will be full blown star bursts and we can really change the world. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, anyway...

Something in the way she moves...

Kinesiology - the study of motion of the human body.

Human movement...it is a mysterious and fascinating thing. To think about how the body is laid out and how everything in it works together can get overwhelming, to say the least. However, it's just plain magical when everything is working correctly and can be sheer Hell if it ain't.

I took a two day seminar weekend before last that could have easily been three days. It was about making muscular corrections, loosening fascia, joint stabilization, muscle facilitation and inhibition, reducing swelling and moving stagnated lymph from an area. That was all mentioned in the first 5 minutes. So I made sure at that point I put my seat belt and helmet on because it was going to be a bumpy ride. Especially when we started talking about anatomy. Whoa! It's been like 12 years since I've gone to that place. It was pretty dusty in there, too. I mean, I'm familiar with major muscles because of common injuries and such, but this was all about insertion and origin. I have some work to do when my head stops spinning.

Chances are you've heard of this subject I'm about to mention. Kinesio Tex Tape. Not KT Tape, not Rock Tape. Kinesio Tex Tape - the original! Even though they all have pretty much the same properties and have the same purposes, they made sure to let us know right off the bat that this is the real deal and the rest are similar.

So I've been taping up some people and just asking for feedback. I've taped a couple of shoulders, a pregnant belly and my own leg. I'm pretty convinced that this is helping facilitate my recovery from my injury. I'm not saying it is the be all and end all, but it goes really well with other forms of therapy to regain balance in the body. With another therapy, like with massage for instance, the practitioner works on the tissue and when she/he is done applies the tape with the same intent they were using while working. It's sort of like an extension of the therapy after the session is over. Pretty cool stuff!

In conclusion I'm totally sold on Kinesio Tex Tape. I think it's pretty great stuff. Will it cure every imbalance overnight? No, but it will definitely speed up your recovery. Besides, most of the time injury is chronic, not acute, because we are a nation full of "full tilt boogie, I haven't got time for the pain" diehards and that means it didn't get that way overnight. We don't want to feel like a bunch of wussies, after all. So grin and bear it, dammit!

NOT! In the end we are all built pretty much the same with a few differences. You must honor your body and it's delicate balance. Be kind to yourselves, believe it or not, you deserve it. Take care of your body, it's the only one ya get!

Until next time, thanks for reading!

Let's try again

Wow! Sorry for the extended sabatical, but it was necessary. Last year was a rough one. It was rough for a lot of people I know, as well. However, this year started out pretty tough with the loss of my oldest friend, Tigger. She got me through a lot of heartache and hard times, especially when I was on my own. She never questioned anything and all she ever really wanted was to just fall asleep on my shoulder or the crook of my arm. She just slept all the time for the last week of her life. In fact, the only time she was awake was when I had to force a pill down her poor little throat. That felt particularly awful to me. Her kidneys were shot and she had developed a heart murmur. So goes the cruelness of aging. She would've been 18 this month.

I've also been nursing an injury that got insanely out of hand because I, like so many athletes I know, just ignored signs that I needed rest. I suddenly heard what I tell everyone when they get sick or injured resonating, rather loudly, in my head, "If you do not take time to recover, rest and heal, your body will eventually force you to stop". Well, I finally took my own advice only after hurting myself so badly that I couldn't walk without pain. I've been seeing a sports therapist who has been doing myofascial release on my lower body. We've gotten great results and I have no pain except for this inflammation in my heal. Ah, I just love progress. Again I'm hearing myself say to massage clients, "It didn't get this way overnight, so you need to be patient and gentle with yourself because it's going to take awhile to disappear, too". I'm signed up to do Ironman Louisville and it's very spooky to see a lot of similarities with 2009, which was a good year. It too started with an injury that I was very diligent in the healing process.

Okay, so let's start some good news! Yaaaaay Good Neeeeews! I now have a website. It's a work in progress and I'm learning a lot about the technology side of things. Well, it's a lot to me. Nonetheless, Chris White, 3 Wire Designs, designed it and it's fabulous! I feel so professional and organized now. I feel like a...like...ahhhh...what's that word? ADULT!!!! Yes, I feel like an adult. At least a little more than I did. Seriously, you should check it out: foreverintraining.com
I'm so excited about it. There are all the services we offer listed, some recipes and a link to this blog. Did I mention it's pretty snazzy?

My good friend Erin Taylor (she and her husband are co-owners of a fantastic local running store called Go! Running) has started a group of supportive and inspiring women called the Go! Go! Girls. I've met a lot of great women in the last three weeks and the bonds of friendship between women is so necessary for our longevity. We went out and supported at the Little Rock half and full marathons today. I've never been on the spectator side of this event and it was an incredible sight to see all those people working hard to reach their goals. We cheered and yelled and clapped and stomped our feet for everyone and had so much fun! It was such a different perspective to look into the eyes of those runners, every shape and size, from every walk of life. I wanted to give them what I know I need when I'm a participant. You need to feel like you're being lifted up and carried when you start to think you can't take one more step. No one realizes really how vitally important it is until you've been on the the other side. There is no half-assing the support of someone giving all they've got right in front of you. They need you to be a lifeline or you don't need to be out there at all!

I will end this blog entry here and try to be back this week sometime. I will be taking a seminar next weekend. So hopefully I'll have my brain in gear and learn a lot.

Time forge ahead and soak in the essence of what will be an epic year...2011!!!!!

Thanks for reading.

No/Good News

Woo! That's about all I can say. I've been busier than a one legged man in a butt kickin' contest, but it's definitely better than the alternative. It's that little word, you know the one with just two letters? Why does the tiniest word 'no' trip us up so much? If you just say it, it sounds so abrupt. It seems better if you soften it a bit, but that takes some thought. So I think (no pun intended) that we just avoid it all together. It's just easier to say the word yes most of the time and overload ourselves. So many times we find ourselves later on saying, "Why did I say yes to that?".

The good news? I'm almost finished with my fitness nutrition certification! Probably another couple of weeks and VICTORY will be mine.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading :)!

Still here!

Well, it's been awhile and this is going to be quick, but I just wanted you to know that I"m still here and very much alive! Work has picked up big time (definitely good) and training is gaining steam. It's all good; I just wish I could balance it all. Who doesn't? We all have to work at keeping our stress levels in check with work, family and social life. Maybe one day I will have the answer to the burning question, "How do you have it all?". Cloning? Impossible? I think the answer to both of those is no. When/if I find out how to have it all (and remain sane) I will share it with the world. Nobel Peace Prize, here I come!

Working my way back

It's time. Time to get back to it. Two weeks with nothing then one week of a little something. This week it's a little something more. Of course I'm talking about training and working out. Last week was 3 weeks after the Ironman and I was supposed to start swimming and cycling again. Cycling had to be done on the trainer because of the blasted rain and swimming had to be put on hold because of the blasted tattoo. I'm not allowed to get into a chlorinated pool for four weeks after getting one, but I figured that two weeks would be enough time. I won't forget how to swim and I don't want to screw up my wittle tattoo that's going to the grave with me!


This week I got to add some strength/core training and running - the two things which I missed most. I felt like I was turning to jello and inputting waaaaay more than the output of calories. I was getting to the point of wanting to crawl out of my skin. This is actually where you want to be before you get back to it in all reality. You need to feel like someone has a pillow over your face and they are holding you down before you can safely get your body back into the game. The recovery and repair time are crucial. Believe me, I preach it all the time, but practiced it not in the past. The difference is having a coach. I now have an outside voice of reason that reels me back in, slaps me on the back of the head and tells me, "it's not time yet, dumbass". So far I don't have too many goose eggs on the old noggin, but I still have to be told that I need to practice more patience, Wee Grasshoppa. Wait for it...


Ah yes, patience. Not something that comes natural to me, although my friends might say otherwise. I just seem patient and calm most of the time and realistically I am. But, whoa Nelly, when I want something, I, by God, want it NOW! I try not to whine and I think I do pretty well with it. I don't like hearing people whine, so I'm pretty sure others don't appreciate it either. No good ever comes from whining, but some people manage to get what they want by doing it. I don't cave most of the time when clients whine. Just this morning I told a client, in no certain terms, that she was whining. I don't know if she was conscious of it or not, but it stopped when I brought it to her attention. I seldom use the direct approach because it makes me feel mean. It's always a surprise when people respond to someone being direct, but 9 times out of 10 it works.


Speaking of work, it couldn't be better right now. And I love my work because it's also play. I'm very lucky that I have had a fair amount of playtime this week. I love my clients and I think the feelings are mutual. They make it possible for me to be able to do what I want and get I to wear two hats. I can't say I enjoy one over the other, they both bring me great satisfaction and are very rewarding. Both fitness and massage changes people's lives and I get the privilege of being a facilitator of that change. How awesome is that?


You know what else is awesome? Reconnecting with friends and family after a long season of training. The big event has come and gone and now is the time to find my way home. I felt like life was passing me by. I'm reclaiming my friendships and now, through facebook, I am rediscovering bonds that I thought were long gone. I have missed everyone. I intend to make more of an effort to secure those relationships.

The Ironman is just what I needed to remind me how important the everyday is. How the ordinary is actually extraordinary. Sure it was a life altering experience and after you do one you know you can do anything, but without the support and extreme understanding of family and friends, none of it would be possible. So now I'm working my way back and getting back to a routine. I'm still training, but the upcoming year is all about my greatest weakness - SPEED. I'm anxious to see what my training future holds for me, but I'm working hard on keeping it reeled in...

When you start feeling like you are losing control and your grasp on things, sit still and listen. Just remember:


The moment you notice that you are just an instrument of the Divine, the moment you become like a hollow flute, the wind will blow through you and there will be music.

The New Addition

A week later and I'm finally ready to blog about my new addition. I'm talking about my new tattoo, of course. I had a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh that needed to be swallowed by none other than the MDot. Winnie represented a part of my past that I was reminded of daily and that needed to be laid to rest. I needed some sort of closure and I needed the open wound to finally heal. In fact, the middle of last week I had a dream about, let's just call the person "The Wound". Normally when I have dreams that include "The Wound", I wake feeling a little rattled. This dream was different. I was walking through a dimly lit room and literally bumped into "The Wound". About to just walk away, I grabbed "The Wound's" arm and asked how they were doing. We talked for a bit, then I looked at "The Wound" and said, "I have to let you go now". I just walked away. I woke feeling calm and peaceful and I feel it was finally the closure I had needed. I had that dream two days before I got that piece of my past buried.
Now the story that follows is not for the faint of heart nor for anyone considering getting body art. If you are even thinking about getting a tattoo, STOP READING NOW.
Chris and I had decided that we would go on Friday night of last week to 7th St. Tattoo. I was pretty excited about getting my latest accomplishment permanently marked on my body. He wasn't quite as excited as I was. So being the organized person I dream of being someday, had pictures in hand for reference. We got our names on the list and waited for probably about an hour, if not more. Caleb would be working with me and let's just say he definitely earned his money that evening. For about 30 minutes he sketched, re-sketched, traced, drew, arranged until he got exactly what I was looking for. However, this tattoo was going to have to be a bit larger than I had anticipated to cover the other one.
Chris' guy took him back and got to work. Caleb said he needed to get his station ready and he'd come get me in a few minutes. About 5 minutes later he came and got me with surgical gloves on. Now let me put in a plug for 7th St. Tattoos - I have 3 tattoos total with one being covered up (so 4 technically) and got them all at this place because it smells like a hospital. An inky hospital, but very sterile. They thoroughly clean EVERYTHING and are very professional. Okay, anyway, we get to his station and the first step in the process is a temporary outline of your tattoo is applied to your skin. He nailed it on the first try! He informed me that it was not skill, it was luck. He had Chris check it and make sure he had it positioned right. Chris was not even flinching for his tattoo. So I sit down sideways in a chair and hear the needle start up. I was expecting pain and I received it in abundance. He got the characters at the bottom done first and was filling in the Dot when Chris came over. During the first 20 minutes I was thinking about 2 things: 1)Suck it up, you just did an Ironman and 2)breathe.
I began to feel slightly light headed and I was starting to sweat a little. Caleb stopped and asked if I was doing okay. I told him that I was feeling a little light headed and asked Chris if he would get me some water. As he continues and I'm sipping water I get a very bad feeling that I'm going to pass out. I fought it as long as I could, but between the blood starting to rush out of my fingers, the strong urge to just go to sleep and everything getting all distorted I knew it was inevitable. I asked him to stop for a minute. He said sometimes a little sugar helps so Chris went to get a Coke for me. By the time he got back he said that my head was resting in Caleb's hand. He said, "She's out". I think Chris got a little panicked and asked if this happened a lot because Caleb didn't seem alarmed. He assured Chris it happens all the time. I don't know how long I was out, but I finally came to and just remember feeling REALLY sleepy and slightly nauseated. I started drinking the Coke and it just wasn't getting any better. I asked to lay back and once in a reclined position I felt like I could relax. About 5 minutes later, I was sweating profusely and got VERY nauseated. I asked Chris to take me to the bathroom and told him that he didn't have to go in with me, I just needed help getting there. He wouldn't have it. Folks, that is real love, right there! I know it was killing him, but he was a trooper. Finally, I was ready to try and continue the process. It was getting late and I know this was way more than Caleb and Chris had bargained for. I felt guilty and looked really, really gnarly at this point. Like a junky on a street corner looking for a fix.
I asked if he had a massage table I could lay on or something I could lean forward on and he brought out a massage chair. Perfect! Chris positioned a trash can beside me of which I made very good use - Chris reassured me that no one was watching and not to worry about it. He still had to stop every few minutes, but at least if I passed out again (which may have been better for everyone) then I was completely supported and no one would even know, probably. He finally got it all filled in and asked if I still wanted the red outline. OH-MY-GOD no! I weakly told him that he had earned whatever we paid extra for the outline as a tip. Chris put me in the car and Caleb sent us off with a garbage bag, just in case. Good call!
We got home about 1:15 (yes that's a.m.) and Chris put me on the couch and tucked me in. I told him to sleep upstairs in the bed and he said he was perfectly comfortable on the couch. I was so weak and had nothing left in my stomach. Not the most desirable way to lose that 5 lbs. I gained after Ironman, but definitely effective. He told me that I was to sleep, eat and not do much of anything on Saturday. Sounded good to me.
I am in total awe of Chris. I have really put him through the ringer with hospital visits and passing out. I'm surprised he hasn't just thrown in the towel. A lot of people would just walk away, fed-up with the situation. He has definitely proved time and time again that he will be there every time I fall. He is my rock, the love of my life and my saving grace. To say I'm a lucky woman is an understatement. I love you, Luvbug!

It's Ironman...

it's the one day you can do everything you like and you chose to be there - Liz

Those are the words that vibrated through my brain for 140.6 miles on Sunday, August 30, 2009. Those words, loving support and volunteers helped me get through the day and come out on the other side. I'm not sure how it changed me, that is yet to be determined. All I know is that I feel different.

Here we goooooo.....
I slept scantily on Saturday night; going in and out of consciousness. At 2:00 a.m., Chris’ alarm went off, my signal to take my Synthroid and go back to sleep until 3:00 a.m. After eating breakfast I obsessively checked my Special Needs bags for the 487th time. We met Michael and Becky in the lobby about 4:45 and started our journey to the transition area. My usual pattern is that I feel okay until about 10 minutes before start time so I was still feeling clear and focused. I got my nutrition put on my bike and checked my tires one last time - all good. A stop at the port-a-potties, drop off the Special Needs bags and we were ready to start the trek down to the swim start. It was quite a hike in flip flops and it was a bit on the nippy side. We got our body marking done than continued on to get our place in line. I got in line at the port-a-potties again while Chris, Michael and Becky found a place in line. There were athletes asleep on the sidewalk and I don't think we could've gotten any better spot unless we had camped out there. We ended up being about halfway down. I really needed to go one more time, but there was a VERY long line for the only port-a-pottie in close range. It was a really bad sign to see that many guys in line so I headed to the fence with a ziplock bag and did my business with the guys. It's always the most amazing thing to me how fast the smallest amount of fluid goes through me on race mornings. I got back in line and pulled my speed suit on the rest of the way and Chris zipped me up. I had my gel and took a salt tab. I was following my plan nicely. The line started moving and my stomach clenched up. I couldn't believe it was time. I got my swim cap on, goggles in place, my flip-flops off and soaked up how alive my growing nervousness made me feel. This was a time trial swim start and it was really nice to have Chris beside me. Matt came by and collected our Morning Clothes bags to take them back to the hotel. All of the sudden we were running down the ramp and jumping in the water. I started my stopwatch and tried to get in as gingerly as possible, but ended up feeling like I was being forced to walk the plank. So I held my goggles on tight and went for it. It took a couple of seconds to resurface and once I did I saw someone jump on Chris' head. That sort of freaked me out a little, but he was fine. I took a deep breath and started as calmly as I could. I swung out as far right as possible so I could stay out of heavy traffic. The swim out went really well. There was even a bizarre scene where the water had gotten very warm and there people standing and walking – IN THE OHIO RIVER!!!!! Some sort of “sandbar”. I decided it would be faster to keep swimming. I could feel my swim cap coming off so I pulled it back down as quickly as I could. I just kept thinking, “I’m doing a freakin’ Ironman and I’m swimming in the Ohio River”! I finally saw the red buoy signaling the turn and I just knew that I could really relax after that since we would be going with the current. I was very careful to stay out on the edge and things were still going well. I noticed that I started to drift closer to the buoys and was starting to get knocked around. I looked back before I started to go right and had to "go with the flow" for a bit before traffic cleared. I finally got back out in the clear and was going pretty good then I noticed that there were some pretty big rolling waves. I got a little nauseated, but I slowed down a little just kept right on rolling. For some reason I decided to check my swim cap again and this time it was almost all the way off. In fact, my goggles were the only thing holding it on my head. Let me tell you, trying to get my swim cap back on while treading water with my legs in the middle of 1,000 people swimming around me was like trying to put my shoes on standing in the middle of rush hour traffic. After I got it as situated as I could under the circumstances I took off swimming again and noticed that my hair was now caught in the zipper of my speed suit. I just sucked it up and kept going, I thought, “this is probably the least painful thing I will have to deal with today so I can handle it”. I kept sighting on the RR bridge, but it wasn’t seeming to get any closer. I finally reached the bridge and could hear the crowds and announcer and that was very motivating. I knew I was going to make it out of the water! Things got really rough at the turn and people were really aggressively trying to get to the swim exit. I finally emerged from the water and heard the announcer say, “Rebecca Irons. What a great name, I love it”. Boy did I need that!

I grabbed my bike gear bag and headed to the changing tent. I was greeted by a very enthusiastic volunteer. I almost felt like I was being rushed and I just needed to get my bearings after that woozy swim. I still felt pretty dizzy, but I wasn’t going to refuse the help though. I probably looked like I desperately needed it. Before I knew it she had my socks and shoes on me. I had my “to do” list taped to my bag, but it felt like it was happening so fast. I realize that my transition time was very slow in reality. I used the port-a-pottie and opted for the sunscreen that the volunteers were applying. It felt like she was rubbing me down with paste. She apologized and assured me that it would soak in. I unsuccessfully tried to “scrape” it off with my hand. I finally gave up when I noticed that everyone else was sporting the same pastey look.

Stay out of your own way...
I grabbed my bike and left the transition area. I hopped on my bike at the mount line and had no trouble clipping in. I started out slow and immediately took in a gel, a salt tab and got some sports drink down. I was feeling very good and let people just wiz by me, careful not to get caught up in their excitement. I knew I would see some of them somewhere out on course again later. I spun up the first climb while watching people just hammer it in a big gear. I made a left turn I thanked the volunteers and one of them said, “You rock! Can you believe you’re doing this?”. I told her not even in my wildest dreams. I finally made it to the branch off and knew I was in for some climbing. More people passed me and I let it happen. I was really concentrating on staying on top of my nutrition no matter what. That descent into the valley was SUUUHWEEEET! I knew what was coming, though. I started seeing some of those hammerheads already from that first climb. I made the turn around and saw Chris as he was descending. This confused me because I never see him until the run, but he was behind me this time. I climbed out of the valley and finally made it to the beginning of the loop. A guy who was passing me early in the loop said, “We just got lapped by a female pro”. It was pretty cool, but she seemed to think nothing of drafting off the age grouper in front of her. I later heard from Jo that she saw the same thing. I was still feeling great, but I needed to potty. So, I took the time to stop at the aid station and refilled any fluids I needed. Comfort is EVERYTHING in endurance sports. I thanked the volunteers and was back on my way. It was very hard to ride past the Special Needs Station on the first time through. It was unreal going through LaGrange, though. The crowd was huge and made you feel like a superstar! The next section past LaGrange was pretty uneventful and lonely and I noticed my knees were absolutely screaming. I got a little worried about the run at that point, but shook it off. I had also noticed a lot of riders changing flats. The word is that there were some locals who don’t appreciate that they close some streets off for an entire day so they throw “things” in the road. Most of the streets are open to vehicular traffic still, so I’m not sure why they felt the need to do that. I understand it was Sunday and they wanted to go to church and all, but that just doesn’t seem to be a very Christian-like thing to me. I came around to start my second loop and was still right on with my nutrition. So I stopped for another pee break and refill. I knew that the Special Needs Station was right around the corner so I looked forward to that. When I made it there, the volunteer that was helping me was great, but I finally just told her that I was not in a hurry. She just smiled and said, “So you’re just out here enjoying the day?”. I replied that I wanted to savor every minute of this and take it all in. She smiled at me again, I thanked her and I was on my way. I was feeling pretty good and just as I was thinking how unreal it was that I still felt so good a guy passed me and proceeded to “give back” all the fluids he had just taken in – IN THE WIND IN FRONT OF ME no less! What a jerk. I know things happen out there out of your control, but surely you can feel that coming on. Don’t pass someone and toss your cookies (or juice) in the wind when you get around them. It’s just not right. He did his business and took off – good riddance. I played cat and mouse with a guy in a Team Aquaphor kit for about 5 miles and the hills eventually got to him and he fell back, but then passed me one last time. I KNEW that I would see him on the run. I was approaching the last aid station and there was a black car that pulled over and the passenger stuck his hand out of the window and someone actually handed him a Gatorade! Then they stopped all of the sudden a little further up and I and the guy next to me almost ran right into the back of him. We just started yelling, “Go! Go! Go!”. Some people don’t deserve a license. I was so ready to be off my bike and actually looking forward to being on the ground running when I finally saw the transition area.

I dismounted my bike and happily handed it off to a volunteer. I took my shoes off, grabbed my run gear bag and ran into the changing tent. I visited the port-a-pottie (a very good sign that I was hydrated). This transition took even longer than the first one. This time I got a volunteer that emptied my bag for me and left me to my own devices, which is probably why it took longer. I just wanted to have the most comfortable run possible. I slathered Biofreeze on my knees and low back and used my own sunscreen this time! I felt more organized and together when I left the changing tent that final time.

Give NOTHING up, DNFing is totally NOT an option!
I walked down the isle out of the transition area and started running when I saw the timing mat. I made an honest effort to keep my pace easy and comfortable. I was happy to have my feet on the ground and made my way up the river bridge. I was surprised how quickly the 1 mile sign came up and how many people were walking at that point. And as predicted, I even the Aquaphor guy. I felt great and tried to maintain my pace. I was still trying to stay on my nutrition, but it was getting to that difficult point where NOTHING tasted good. I continued to eat the gels, drink the Gatorade and down the salt tabs. I knew I wouldn’t get very far if I didn’t follow what I had done through all that training. I saw Jo first going in the opposite direction and looking strong. Then I saw David going the opposite direction and he told me that Chris was right in front of me. I felt another wave of motivation at hearing those words. I kept my eyes open and looked for the orange cap. Still feeling great I finally spotted him at mile 9 or 10. I was careful to contain my excitement and held my pace. He was walking and I wanted him to run with me, but I knew he had to make that decision on his own and I had to run my own (first) marathon. I asked him how he was doing and he said he was feeling good and not to worry about him, that it was going to be a very long night. I decided to go on and I heard a woman ask him if we were doing the Ironman together and said she thought it was sweet. I noticed a woman on the side of the street with a sign that read, "Death before DNF!" - Amen, Sista! I stopped at the next aid station to pee and get some fluids. My trend for the first half was aid station, pee, water and Gatorade. I took a salt tab every hour and was feeling great and passed on my Special Needs bag, I had decided to rely on the aid stations. It was both amazing and disheartening to see the finish line and not be able to go there. So close and yet so far! I looked at the time and I knew I was not going to make my goal time of 13.5 hours, but I was okay because I knew I was going to finish no matter what. I went out for my second lap and saw Chris again and he said he still felt okay, but he would be walking the rest of the way and didn’t know if he would make the cut off. I was pretty emotional at that point because fatigue was setting in and I just wanted to cry when he told me that. I assured him that he had enough time and he needed to keep going. I gave him a kiss and told him that I love him and off I went. I had a serious talk with the universe at that point and pleaded to have a divine intervention with Chris. How could I finish and him not finish? I worried that he was going to just throw in the towel. My pace was slowing, but I continued to run. My feet were on fire and my knees felt like they were going to buckle, but mentally I was very strong. A couple of times I felt the familiar feeling of passing out wash over me and I just downed more fluids and ate. I kept hope of seeing Chris again and even started to cry a couple of times. Then out of the darkness I saw that familiar swagger and my heart leapt and as he passed me he said, “I can’t stop walking because it hurts too much”. I told him I understood, I was able to relax and just get it done. At about mile 20 it became really unfun and I felt the happiness I had been able to maintain sliding off of my face. I couldn’t stop at the last 2 aid stations because it hurt too much to walk and start running again. I started to be able to hear the crowd and the announcer. I knew I was within blocks of that finish line! I started to have an out-of-body experience and pain left my body as I floated closer to the chute. More and more people and all the sudden a flood of lights and I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I raised my arms and felt the energy from the people permeate me! I looked at a man in the crowd and asked, “How does my hair look?”. He said, “Fabulous!”. This was what it was all about this whole time. I though I was going to pee on myself I was so excited. I waited to hear those words, but, alas it was not to be. I thought with the last name of Irons, he would be sure to say it. However, I don’t need to hear those words to know that I did it. Will I do another one? You bet! Yes, I may have missed my goal time by a little more than an hour, but you know what? I got to savor and enjoy the entire experience and that’s what it was about for my first Ironman. I couldn’t have asked for more.

Rebecca Irons, YOU are an Ironmaaaaaan!

Why?

I believe my only reason for doing this IM is because I can. I'm doing this for all those who can't because I can. I'm healthy and have use of all my limbs so I've decided that I'm going to use them until they don't work anymore or until I'm dead. I've done a little soul searching today and I really tried to come up with a deep philsophical reason and it's just not there. All of this training though and I got nothin' better than 'Because I can'. No magical or uber respectable selfless reason. Maybe I have some painful things that I've repressed that are driving me. I don't know, but what I do know is that I will have all the time in the world to think about it on August 30th.
On a funnier note, I've noticed that I now time myself on everything. I was getting out of the shower and started to reach for my watch and turn off the stopwatch. I just chuckled to myself and was really thankful I hadn't actually started it.

18 Days to go

Well, I kicked that swims ass yesterday! Thanks to Jo and David who were so kind to meet me out at the lake. I had to prove to myself that I could do it. Not just think that I could, but KNOW that I can. I do, however, understand that things are different everyday. A good swim 2 days ago doesn't mean a good swim tomorrow.

Today was pretty low key. Nothing significant to write about. I did get started on my race plan for the Ironman. The 2 biggest things I have learned in this whole process is 1)nutrition is EVERYTHING and 2) you must have a race plan. Key elements, my friends. If you don't have your nutrition figured out you're not going to get very far. Likewise with the race plan. It's also really helpful if you know why you're doing something. Over the last few days I've been thinking about this a lot. Hmmmm....because everyone else is doing it? Because I can? Because it's the natural progression of my life as an athlete (I use this term very loosely)? Nothing really sounds like a a very good reason so far, but when I come up with it, I will let you know.

20 Days to go

We are 20 days out and today was a rest day. I needed it to regroup and let yesterday sink in a little more. I felt much better when I woke up. I got my gear and nutritional needs lists done. That is a big hurdle, my friends! If I can just keep from over thinking my strategy and the what-if's then I'll be golden. I tend to do that to myself causing a mouthful of ulcers and an overactive digestive system (if ya know what I mean).
When I'm not thinking about the Ironman, I'm thinking about the off-season. I'm looking forward to cleaning my house (with a toothbrush), spending time with people I love, baking for the holidays and strength training. Oh my gawd, how I miss just the simplicity of a biceps curl or an overhead press. I mean I'm in the best shape of my life right now, but I'm missing the balance of the cardio and strength training. That's what the off-season is about and thinking about next year's goals. Wow! The goals of 2010! Can you freakin' believe THAT? This year is flying by and I hope I haven't lost any friends because of all this training. If I have, I'm sorry I made them feel second best. This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity and you have to take those opportunities while you can or you may just miss the next best thing.
So in the very near future I will get back to a lot of things I miss and I'm pretty happy about that.

Maybe I'll even have time to knit a sweater from all the cat fur tumbleweeds rolling around under the furniture....hmmmm.....

21 days to go

It's 3 weeks until race day. I just finished my last week of big training and now I'm in taper mode. I, however, did not finish strong today.
We made our way to DeGray Lake so I could do a 4250 yard swim in open water. I really wanted to do this swim. I mean really badly and I was ready. We pulled up to the marina to rent a kayak and were told that we could not remove the kayak from the park. This makes sense in retrospect, but totally deflated my excitement about doing such a long swim in open water. The anxiety started creeping in and doubt filled my head. Chris has a big pull behind buoy, but him being on shore with that wasn't going to help me at 600 yards out if I got a bad cramp. We were both tired from yesterday's workout. I tried to calm myself down inside my head. I may not be the fastest swimmer, but I'm a good swimmer. I've done all this training and I totally let my fear consume me.
A couple of other people showed up and we got in the water. We were to swim to an 'island' about 600 yards out and swim back. We were going to do this 3 1/2 times. I made it to the island and everything was fine. I checked in with Emily (Ed had turned around early) and we headed back to the shore. I sighted over to the right where the shore was the closest and felt like I was swimming crooked and toward it. I shifted to the left and sighted front to make sure I was headed in the right direction. Still fine. Now, I'm not sure how I did this, but this is what freaked me out. The next time I sighted front I saw the island again. I had swum in a circle and was headed in the wrong direction. I felt disoriented and it really scared me. All I had to do was turn around and simply swim to the shore. I started back - again - and I couldn't stop thinking about it. It totally threw me off and I couldn't pull myself back together. I finished that length and beat myself up sufficiently. I've had bad workouts, but there has NEVER been one that I haven't been able to talk myself down, sucked it up and got through it. I was due one of these workouts and I felt for the first time what true fear of possible failure is. I don't want to DNF and I refuse to DNF at the Ironman unless it is a physical problem (i.e. bleeding out of my eyeballs). I know I will get through the swim because I know that there are kayaks and buoys to sight. It makes all the difference in the world. I also know that 2.4 miles in the water is a very long way, so I will make peace with it now. I know I can do this and the swim is about 90% mental and 10% technique. If you can convince yourself that all you need to do is relax and stay on course, that's the ticket. It's the what-if's and the borrowing of trouble that will smack you down and (no pun intended) hold your head under water. This is burned in my brain now. You can say this stuff to yourself over and over again, but until you experience it you don't come close to understanding. I understand and I'm making peace with the fact that now my first 2.4 mile open water swim and full marathon with be at the Ironman. I will finish, it may not be pretty, but I will do it and most likely, I will do another.

Just stuff

Well, I have raw spots from my friggin shorts I wore yesterday for that long run. They look like rope burns and I've been walking like a cowboy today. It was just plain hot yesterday and hotter today. Thank goodness today was a little 3600 yd swim. Nothing on the agenda for tomorrow training wise. However, the epic weekend of training is coming up! Gotta get some rest for that.

Is it hot out there or is it me?

Let the games begin! Whew! Ironman training is in full suhwing and temps and humidity are soaring. I think it's safe to say that summer is here and training in this soggy air is going to more than prepare me for Louisville. I've got a 2 hour and 20 minute run on my plan tomorrow and I've got to figure out how I will carry all I need with me without adding 20 pounds to my person. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know!

CATS Iron Mountain (Wo)Man

I was unusually calm about this event. I normally can’t hold a conversation, but I think I wore Chris out on the way to Conway. I was a regular Chatty Cathie. I tried to save some of that energy for the race, but words just kept flowing out of my mouth. I don’t know what came over me! We pulled into the park and got a really good spot. I was standing next to the truck and a woman walked up to me and asked, “Are you the Irons’?”. Well, it turns out that they are Eric and Kayla’s (Chris’ brother and SIL) neighbors. Unbelievably, their names are Rebecca and Chris as well. Too weird. She does tri’s but he doesn’t and this was her first 1/2. They recognized Chris because he looks like Eric with no hair.
We got our body marking and found spots for our bikes. Next was chip pick-up. Time to set-up the transition area. This is getting better and better each time. I had a good feeling about my transitions today. I was very relaxed – also very weird. It was nice to just chat with the ladies in the area. I met Angie who I’ve seen at several tri’s, she has a Guru as well, but she really liked mine a lot. Me too!
The swim was wetsuit legal and a two loop swim – swim a little over 1000 yards, get out and run, get back in and do it over again. It was mentally tough to see the finish and know that you had to re-acclimate yourself to being vertical for a split second. I was a bit dizzy, so running was a little difficult. I got brushed and kicked a few times, but nothing major and I just kept moving forward. I felt like the second loop of the swim went a little faster. I feel pretty good about the swim, but it still needs work and will probably always need work.
I entered the transition area and took a bit of time off of T1. I crossed the mount line and attempted to get on my bike. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the chain. Will and Denise were standing on the sidelines shouting, “Go Rebecca”! Then they would have to say it again a few seconds later. I was starting to doubt that I remembered how to ride. Then I remembered that Chris has to push the gears all the way down in order for the bikes to fit into his vehicle. I finally mounted my steed and took off. I held a steady and easy warm up for about 20 minutes. The bike course was an out and back with about 3500 feet of climbing. I paid no attention to my speed and spun up the hills. I felt good, but my hamstrings were starting to seize up a bit so I backed off a little and tried to stretch them on the downhills. I felt good about the bike over-all.
Time for T2. I got all the bike gear off and started to get my run stuff together. I ended up falling over trying to put on my socks for the run J. I never would have sat down on purpose, thank you, Patrick. The run was also two loops. I took off and used the first three miles as a warm up. But once I passed the three mile mark I just decided that I needed to stay with that pace and call it somewhere around what I would like my Ironman pace to be. I passed Marianne the first time and she looked fresh as a daisy, smiling and talking. She was telling me that Chris was just a little ahead of me and that I could probably catch him. The next time I saw her she told me Chris was walking now and I could definitely catch him and beat him. The third time I saw her she was telling me I could now catch Jo and maybe even Heather! How does she do that talking while running thing? She is truly an amazing person. I told her I wanted to be her when I grow up! I did catch Chris eventually. His low back was killing him. I still saw Jo ahead and she was walking. She started running again and got out of my sight. I got to the turn around for the second time and I was really confused because I didn’t see her going the other way in front of me still. I grabbed some water and continued on. I ended up walking a lot of the second loop after the turn around. My hips were getting sore (muscularly) and my knees has started getting a little cranky. Unfortunately all I had left was just over a 10 min. per mile average. I knew I was well hydrated because I had to stop at the port-a-potty. I saw Chris off in the distance walking with someone that looked like Jo. By golly, it was Jo! Now I was thoroughly confused. They were laughing and she explained that she had to receive oxygen and be iced down. Again, very weird.
I crossed the line with a big smile on my face – I thought “Crissie Wellington”!
I compared my time last year when it was an easier course in Arkadelphia with this year’s harder course in Conway. My time in Arkadelphia was 6:23 and my time in Conway was 6:12. I was going for a sub 6 hour time and if I could’ve avoided walking so much on the run, I think I could’ve done it. Biggest accomplishment I can think of is finishing strong with a smile and not having to see the inside of a med tent! Thank you Gary, Patrick, Michael, Denise, Will, Andy, Carrie for the awesome cheering! Especially at the homestretch.
Tri’s are not easy for ANYONE! I just can’t think of anything else I would like to do for the rest of my life (besides when I’m doing it). It’s a feeling like no other to look back after crossing the finish line and saying, “I just did all of that!” and sincerely want more. Is it self punishment? Do we really like pain that much? It’s about breaking through barriers and limits that we often mentally put on ourselves. Sometimes you really have to question yourself about why you continue to do this to yourself. And you try to recruit others to do it as well. I will do tri’s as long as I am able because, yes, I do like the pain and the suffering. I like trying to constantly improve my time. I like seeing if I can really keep from talking myself out of it for I have yet to quit anything like this! And, no, it will never ever be enough!