Thursday, May 7, 2009

I gotta be me!

Wow! I think I've been in the twilight zone or on autopilot or perhaps both. I seemed to have been sucked into some sort of time warp because last time I checked I had a little over a month before our first official tri of the season. In the blink of an eye it's a week from this coming Sunday. Whoa! How the heck does that happen? I think when you hit your 30's someone comes in the middle of the night and steals your time and memory space in your brain. I've had to write EVERY-friggin-THING down since my 20's, but it seems worse now. Too much alcohol and extra curricular substances? Probably! I was 'talking' to my best friend from high school on facebook a couple of weeks ago and she brought up wondering how smart she would be if she hadn't done all of that stuff. I've often thought about that, too. Now, when I think about that, I just push it out of my mind because it makes me sort of sad. All of those were choices and I take full responsibility for making those choices. I've run the gamut of who and what I could blame, but it all comes back to me. I just didn't like who I was back then - an extremely introverted, uninteresting and boring girl. All that stuff let me be who I really wanted to be - the outgoing, fun and social little butterfly. Everything I used to put into my body makes me shutter now. In the same respect, though, I am very proud of who and where I am today! All of that was necessary to shape me into the person I've become. I don't want to be ANYBODY else. Who cares if I have a million post-its around my workspace?! Who cares if I read slow?! I'm definitely not the smartest person I know, but I'm not the village idiot either. What really matters is that I love and care intensely about my friends and family, about what I do for a living and that I'm fiercely loyal. I have standards and beliefs and I follow my own path. I follow the Golden Rule and I would never compromise my integrity or ask that of anyone else.
Don't you just love going on a tangent? Me too! I think I just needed to purge. I feel better now.
Now Memphis in May Tri Festival is coming up and I don't believe I've EVER felt so ready. What a difference a structured training plan makes and it's been worth every penny! We will pack our tri bags next week during the taper. I will probably be a little pre-occupied until after the race. I'm serious this year. Up until now I've been winging it and just flying blind with my training. This year the goals are to finish strong, finish feeling good and just enjoy the fruits of my labor. Oh, and stay out of the med tent!

Good Luck
to all our friends doing Joe Martin this weekend!!!

1 comment:

jo said...

Yep, know all about the killing of the brain cells. I am pretty sure I used to party a lot, but I can't really remember.