Thursday, November 3, 2011

Forty and Fabulous!

I turned 40 recently and I am having the absolute best time. No really, I mean it. All these women that I know who are either going through or have gone through the forth decade of their lives have told me it is or was the best time in their lives. You are at the point where you know who you are, what you want and where you're going and you don't give a shit if anyone likes it or not. I've just begun this incredible journey and it has been pretty amazing so far. I've gotten over trying to be something that feels unnatural to me. If it doesn't feel right or good, I'm not doing it. So I've decided not to pay my taxes anymore! Just kidding. Seriously, I feel a strength and a self assuredness I've never known before. I also don't feel it necessary to be a sounding board for people with negative energy anymore. In the past I felt like they needed me. I was doing my part for the greater good. All they were doing was sucking my energy and leaving me depleted. No more!!! This doesn't mean that I'm not going to be a good listener and give people a safe place to vent. We all need that. I'm just not going to give up my precious energy anymore. They can't have it, dammit!!! I'm trying to be more aware and open to what the universe sends my way. I'm paying more attention when someone comes to mind. I call, text or email them. I figure that they popped in there for some reason; even if it's just to say, "Yo...'sup?". It's nice when someone just calls you out of the blue or sends you a note to say they were thinking of you. I called my sister on the way home from dinner last night just to tell her I miss her. Very out of character for me. I'm trying to also rekindle my sense of humor and laugh more. I sort of lost my sense of humor somewhere along the way this year. Too much working and training, not enough life. I was trying to hard to be an interesting person. Now I just want to be grounded and real. Just me, only better. When it's my time to 'renew' (a reference from Logan's Run) I want only to leave my echo of laughter behind and for people to say, "I'm really going to miss her" and smile when they think of me. No, I don't plan on dying anytime soon, but I'm going to get a headstart on enjoying life a lot more and leaving my positive footprint on this Earth.